Riding the Job Hunt Roller Coaster: 6 Strategies That Are Working For Me (and May Work For You, Too)

Welcome back! Today's topic: managing the emotional roller coaster of being laid off and looking for a job. First, I think it's important to note from the start that I'm a naturally positive person, at least most of the time. I call it being a "glass-half-full." I stop shy of toxic positivity (I think!) but I do tend to look at the (mostly) bright side. 

And some days, well, that's impossible. 

Here's the thing about looking for a job. When I see a position that sounds appealing, I read the job post. I do some research on the company. I consider whether it sounds like a good fit for my background and experience, and if it is, and if the salary sounds reasonable, I apply. I am interested in that position. I'm a little excited. Hopeful. Thinking positive. This could be my next job! 

And then, I wait. Actually I don't wait. I continue looking for a job, and I continue freelancing (I have an article due in a couple of days I need to write, and several potential clients to pitch) and I work out first thing in the morning, and I feed my dog, and my cat, and my kids, and go to my daughter's cross country meets and do laundry and pay bills and try not to freak out about the fact that I have now applied for 174 jobs in the past seven and a half weeks.  

That is a lot of jobs. A lot of applications. And so far, a lot of "thank-you-for-applying-but-we-are-pursuing-other-candidates" automatically generated, generic emails. (I have had some great interviews. And I'm in the running for some awesome positions. Fingers and toes crossed.) But each of those emails is a tiny punch in the gut, some bigger than others. Some days, those punches add up.  

Nevertheless, I persist. And I've found several strategies to be helpful during this admittedly stressful time (that may help you as well): 

1. I get clear on what I want--and what I will take. Yes, I have a few "dream jobs" I would love to snag. But I'm also realizing that the job title may not matter. Nor may the subject matter I'm covering. But the challenge, and the team I work with, and the work itself--those matter. I'm more open to possibilities than I would have been two months ago, and that's a good thing. (Roller Coaster Advice: Having a dream job is fine. But you also need to have a "real-life job" in mind as well. That may be different than what you were originally thinking. And that's okay.)  

2. I work out every weekday morning. Yes, I'm a positive person. I'm also an anxious one. A hard workout in the morning burns off most of that anxiety, and I get off the treadmill drenched in sweat and endorphins. I come home, walk my dog, shower, and am ready to tackle another slew of job postings and freelance assignments. I don't love working out. But I love how I feel afterwards. (Roller Coaster Advice: This time is stressful. Super stressful. Figure out what makes you feel better. And do it.) 

3. I keep the same schedule during the week. I get up and go to bed at the same time (or close to it) every night, except on Thursdays when I play pool with my APA team, and crash around 11:00 p.m. (which is way too late for me these days). I also make sure I'm not on my computer or phone at night. I "punch out" the way I would with a job, and enjoy the break from technology and job-hunting. (Roller Coaster Advice: Take time off from job-hunting, and from your screens. "A watched pot never boils." So set that pot aside, on the regular.) 

4. I stay grateful. My kids are healthy and thriving. I received a month of severance pay from my former employer, and I have savings to fall back on in the meantime. I have great friends, a great guy who makes me laugh, and great neighbors. In the morning, I list three things I'm grateful for, even if it's just for a wonderful night of sleep or a cup of coffee in my favorite orange mug or the fact that daughter cleaned her room without me pestering her. (Roller Coaster Advice: You have plenty to be grateful for. You can focus on that, or focus on everything that's wrong. Which one do you want to pick?) 

5. I practice patience. And I need the practice. I want what I want, and I want it now. So I remind myself that I waited months and months to be matched with the young woman who would choose me and my husband to be her baby's parents when her son was born. And then I waited several years for that miracle to happen again, with the young woman who would choose us to be her baby's parents when her daughter was born. 

No, a job is nowhere near as meaningful or significant or life-changing as waiting, and hoping, to adopt a baby. But both require patience, which I remind myself of when I've been checking my email all day. (Roller Coaster Advice: You can't hurry love, and you can't hurry the right job, either. Take some deep breaths. Accept that you can't make something happen, simply because you want it to.)

6. But I think about the future. I believe in The Power of Now (one of my favorite books). I recognize that staying in the moment is the key to happiness. But I also plan what I will do when I get my next job. And for me, that means sharing money with several key charities. I can't wait to start my new job. But I also can't wait to donate that money. And that is one of the things that is keeping me going during this stressful time. (Roller Coaster Advice: Remember this is temporary. Picture yourself in the future, with the job you want. How will you share your good fortune? How will you help? Who will you help? Think beyond yourself, and how you will help make the world a better place. That is one of the reasons why we work, after all.) 

That's it! If you're looking for a job, or for better employment, or deciding to pursue self-employment, I hope you find this post helpful. Feel free to drop your comments/questions below, and I'll be happy to weigh in and hopefully be helpful as well. :)